Blergh

eliteknightcats:

yebisu:

eliteknightcats:

hello male writer. before you is a typewriter. you have one day to write a novella with a woman as the protagonist without describing her breasts. the timer begins now

Her ass was like a peach, and brother I’m in her pit.

well. that one’s on me

normal-horoscopes:

autisticsansa:

largishcat:

anyone else get embarrassed when their self indulgent daydreams are like too self-indulgent? like oh jeez the telepaths are going to judge me

#ah so when you’re not Catholic you think it’s telepaths lol

Sentences that explain like 70% of America

inthefallofasparrow:

ghaterrecha:

killtheboyband-deactivated20220:

I need people reblogging this without context to know that this is literally a quote from the tv show Hannibal.

vergak:

*gets booed out of the doctor’s office*

fandom:

dogsrulepeopledrool:

ladyshinga:

callmebliss:

notcaycepollard:

dualclock:

explorerrowan:

unyanizedcatboys:

shydestinybread:

manicgoblinnightmarewoman:

cryoverkiltmilk:

byjove:

Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*

My cat: Father is…evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.

The spiritual successor to Miette

Might I also add

May i add the piece from artist Verbal Vomit

Glad to see we’re all in agreement that cats talk like disparaged victorian children

I am so incredibly glad we finally moved on from “i can has”. Cats are clearly smart enough for advanced sentence structure and dumb enough to draw entirely incorrect conclusions about what they’re talking about.

My cat, banging the cabnet door over and over and over: bang bang bang

Me: you will not earn what you desire by banging the cabinet door.

My cat: This is a test of wills, is it not? We shall see if your ability to put up with my incessant banging outlasts my eternal lust for snackie treats. Years of conditioning have hardened me for this purpose. bang bang bang

Me: ksst!

My cat, throwing herself to the ground like she’s been shot: Oh! Oh I have been assailed in my own home! Have mercy, have pity! Surely in the cruel darkness of your heart there is some mote of goodness that might stay your hand! Do not strike me, I pray you!

Me: ok

My cat, after waiting about 3 minutes: bang bang bang

Can haz snackytreat

(source)

Source

This post is the most reblogged post of the year! Congratulations!

dicaeopolis:

dicaeopolis:

Human beings b like. *sits and stares peacefully at a fire* *sits and stares peacefully at the ocean* *sits and stares peacefully at a sleeping animal*

a small rhythmic motion: is happening

us for 6 million years and counting: talented brilliant showstopping incredible

thatsbelievable:

neshatriumphs:

weaver-z:

Prison guards: Iroh? Escape? Ha! That weak, senile old man couldn’t escape if we rolled a red carpet to the door!

Iroh alone in his cell:

I cannot be cackling like this in the middle of the night.

studentlifeproblems: